Mandibone's Blog

Am I really Infertile?

Posted on: May 2, 2010

I have had a hard time this past week. It was national Infertility week.  A lot of the blogs I read was about their struggle with infertility.  I even was apart of a beautiful video that Heather put together. http://www.ourincrediblejourney.net/2010/04/i-did-best-i-could-with-this.

The thing is I don’t think myself as infertile.  Could I get pregnant again? Well my tubes are tied but yes I could. But the reality is that a pregnancy would most likely kill me.  My heart could not handle another pregnancy.  I am not healthy enough to be pregnant.  I took a HUGE risk with my life when I had open heart surgery to switch my heart valve so I wouldn’t have to take a blood thinner while pregnant.  I took a even bigger risk being pregnant. While my heart did well with the pregnancy it never recovered from the extra blood and fluids.  Being pregnant is why I had to have another open heart when Amelia was 16 months old.

It took us a month to get pregnant with Amelia. I was pregnant a second time and that baby was a surprise. (We lost that baby at 11 weeks.)  I feel like a fraud when these ladies talk about the years they were on fertility drugs and the IVFs that didn’t work. Even with our adoption was fast. It was less than 6 months from my first phone call  to when we brought Evie home.

I feel like I can’t label myself as infertile because  my road had not been as rough as others.

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5 Responses to "Am I really Infertile?"

you know what?

Don’t make your fertility, or lack thereof, not valid. Just because others have a super hard time getting pregnant…you could DIE if you got pregnant. That’s pretty significant, you know?!

Your road has been way more rough than most, my dear. Look at all you’ve been through.

Big hugs and lots of love…

Thanks! It is just hard to share.

Big hugs back at you!

I TOTALLY get what you are saying; I was told to never become preggo because of my impaired kidney function. When I did have our son, I was on bedrest with serious, life-threatening complications. Today, I “could” become pregnant, but it isn’t worth the risk to my health or life; the risk to my son’s mom, my husband’s wife….and that breaks my heart because I desperately want another baby. I don’t think our struggle is “less”; I think it is different, and if anything, more dramatic.

I am not sure if you would want to discuss it or not but I help people talk about adoption and building their families. If you want too just e-mail me.

You can draw support from whomever you find a relationship.

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