Mandibone's Blog

This is the sad part

Posted on: September 6, 2010

Evelyn and I had to leave my sister in law’s house early tonight because she was really stimming.  It is this part that makes me sad for her and for me.  I didn’t want to leave.  We were just going up to her HUGE bathroom to be silly girls with hair products and makeup.  But something set Evelyn off.  She started her banging her head on the floor.  It just breaks my heart.  I know that she loves being there with my nieces.  The big girls were playing in the garage with chalk and bikes.  You could see her wanting to join in the fun.  You could see her searching for ways for it to be ok.  She couldn’t vocalize what was making her so nervous.  Was it because it was dark?  Was it because the girls were being too loud?   I couldn’t “fix” what was upseting her so she did the only thing she knew to make it safe, banging her head and humming.  I can take the humming.  The head banging is another story.  She hits her head so hard on the floor it leaves marks on her beautiful face.  I want to be able to make her feel safe.  I want to be able to make it ok in her world.  But on the other hand I am sad that I can only do that by taking her to her safe place which is home.  I want her to have fun.  I wanted to have fun.  This is the sad part of special needs.

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6 Responses to "This is the sad part"

😦 my heart goes out to you both, I can’t imagine… xoxo

I really get this. My son can get very agitated and starts pacing and hand flapping. (He’s 17yo) Most of the time he doesn’t even know what set him off, but can usually calm himself down.

Hopefully as Evelyn gets older and can verbalize better her frustrations, she can learn less harmful calming techniques.

I am right there with you wanting to ‘fix’ these situations and not being able to always make it better.

I just hope for you all that it gets better.

I’m so sorry, Mandi. I know it has to break your heart. On a positive note, her words are really starting to come. Hopefully soon she will be able to use words to tell you how to help her. It will be a while I am sure, but the hope is there.

I fully understand your frustrations. Zeeky is doing so much better, but had to be papoosed to stop his rampage today over meal time. The crazy thing is that he loves to eat (you know that lol), but I often have to deal with horrible rampages that endanger him without the papoose board bc of meal time. All I can figure is that he was hoping for something different, but I have NO IDEA what the “different” thing might have been.

Hugs to you all! Know you aren’t alone. Many parents of children with special needs are right there in that boat with you!

There are times when you just want to grab them and protect them from the world…and other times, you just want to stick your head in the sand and pretend that life is “normal!”

I so hear you.

I’m always here if you need to vent!

Oh man, that’s rough. Hopefully as she gets a little older and can verbalize better, that might be able to help talk her down. I’m really sorry that y’all have to go through this, though.

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